February 2011
You are in my mind in between red lights and meetings, in between sips of coffee, in between ringing phones.
“It was the night things changed, can you see it now?
These walls that they put...”
This town will be the downfall of us all.
I sometimes feel as if, I am encased in a bubble. There is simply, no way to leave, no way to enter. Shattered dreams lie on the expressions of the public, their eyes widened at the image of leaving their home.
It’s the same thing. The same routine. Everyday. Every week.
I am tired of it.
Can’t wait until I am eighteen. My bags will be...
Okay, here we go. Round and round about that roller coaster again. Journeying through loops and spirals and twirls and diving and flying and living. Twisting and spinning and looping and wishing we could go back and just relive that moment. When all that matters was you, closing your eyes, picturing yourself floating through clouds, not a single care in the world. Higher than everyone else.
Life,...
When you look (ed) at me, suddenly it (was) clear.
I can’t remember the last time I looked at a picture of you and actually relived those butterflies floating in the pit of my stomach.
I feel ashamed. Scornful. Embarassed that I let the fact that finding love was going to define me, and make me stronger.
I was definitely on some other planet when I let these thoughts cross my mind....
“GLAMOURGASM.”
January 2011
belittle: verb: be-lit-tle1. to consider or speak of (something) as less valuable or important than it really is; disparage2. to cause to make small; dwarf
is it entirely stupid to just sit here and wait...
No, it is humanly impossible. One half of myself thought so, yet, being the disdainfully romantic girl that I am, I thought that maybe, just MAYBE something might happen.
Praying, hoping, wishing.
And it did. It really, actually meant something. To be standing next to you, not feeling as small as I was before. You looked at me like I was actually pretty, like I actually was something to you.
...
The extraordinary patience of things!
This beautiful place, defaced with a crop of suburbab houses-
How beautiful when we first beheld it.
Sometimes, I just get that feeling, to just get up, and start dancing.
That uncontrollable happiness that takes you over, every cell seems to be bathed in sunlight.
Inexplicable, glorious, carefree, living.
I can’t remember the last time I even felt that way, rather, I can’t remember the last time I danced.
Dance= happiness. Which just doesn’t work for me right now.
Everything’s so wrong, and you don’t belong, living in your precious memory.
The leaves are fading, and the trees are bear. The barren fields once green and alive abandon their thriving ways. The ocean turns from a deep sapphire to a murky grey.
The icecaps in the North and South begin to melt. The sky hazes over as the sun slips beneath the clouds. The rivers stop flowing and halt, as something else takes over.
The world is continually changing, yes. But why am I not...
We are just paper dolls in a stack of old stationary.
We let people draw whatever they want to, alas, we are merely paper, and the pen is our enemy.
Others refuse to see us, buried under the piles and piles of untouched files.
Unescapable. Pressured. Easily ripped apart.
Paper Dolls.
escapade
With my backpack strewn across my shoulder hastily, I made my way across the crowded streets of a town I just arrived in. Noisy, polluted alleyways were filled with shady people who stared at me like I was a total alien.
No questions asked, I was an outsider.
Nonetheless, I was unstoppable.
No need to rest. No need to understand the language. No need to know where I am going.
My pure sense of...
